Rogue One Trailer Breakdown:

Trooper

:53 Seconds: I’m going to guess this guy’s name is General Paininthebutt. General Paininthebutt wants to know if things are clear. Jyn is like “yes, sir [you are a paininthebutt].”

:57 Seconds: We’re reminded that we have to wait until December. I cry. Also, the use of the siren here and through the rest of the trailer elevates what I’m watching from the standard coming-of-age-and-out-of-reluctancy trailer into one of the best constructed trailers I’ve seen in years. Like a terrified heart-beat it pulls me in to every image to come.

1:00 Minute: Jyn and Maybe-Biggs walk out of the base all dramatic like with a squad of pilots. This really looks like Yavin now. So many details to take in. The X-Wing. The Gonk droid. This feels like a panel out of a Star Wars comic.

1:02 Minute: HOLY KRIFFIN MOTHER OF SITH SPAWN IT’S A GRAND ADMIRAL. And he has a CAPE. I cry again.

1:05 Minute: A ninja-looking spy stands around being just too BA to handle while a team of classic Stormtroopers march around with a tank that looks a lot like the ones from the original Battlefront game. Also, behind BA Spy is some sort of unusually burly fellow. Can’t tell if that’s an alien creature or just a really burly fellow.

1:06 Minute: Forest Whitaker. Forest Whitaker in whatever awesome he’s wearing on his person. Is he a Bounty Hunter? Could that be mangled TIE pilot armor?

1:09 Minute: If that’s a Dark Trooper and the Dark Trooper Project is not only still canon but will be seen on screen I’m not sure I’ll be able to mental handle this film. The trooper seems to be standing near a ‘vaporator. I guess those aren’t Tatooine specific. I think we could be seeing an attack on a base here. We also begin to hear Whitaker’s commentary. He seems to be talking now about Jyn’s future as a bookend to hearing about her past. It’s ominous.

1:10 Minute: Rebel pilots taken captive are marched through the streets. I figure this means there’s a major planet that’s not Yavin in the film. Or they’re drastically changing what Yavin is. Even ignoring Legends canon, I feel like Yavin seems deserted in A New Hope.

1:11 Minute: Jyn, Maybe-Biggs, and a Tall Droid (perhaps the same one from 28 seconds?) run through what looks to be an Imperial base.

1:12 Minute: So many stromtrooper armor types!

1:14 Minute: Donnie Yen as what looks to be the first non-lightsaber user to be a serious melee combatant. (Okay, yeah, Rey has a bow-staff. That she used to hit like two bozos. And then she used a lightsaber. This guy has, like, a plain-vanilla sword!)

1:15 Minute: But for real, DARKTROOPERS???? (I’ve now forgotten how to cry I’ve just been crying so much) Followed by an exploding Imperial shuttle on Tropical Somewhere. I think the tropical beach might be the last environment not seen in a Star Wars movie. There looks to be a gateway by the now-exploded ship. Is this the Imperial base?

1:17 Minute: Grand Admiral Grumpy McCape (name is speculation) walks onto the beach and yet his cape still looks incredible! Lots of dead Stormies all around.

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About YB 69 Articles
YB, also known as YodaBauer, is a moderator at Port Haven. She generally likes anything with "Star Wars" printed on it somewhere as well as numerous TV shows that she never shuts up about. Any of her spelling and grammar choices are purely her own and do not reflect the views of Port Haven.