It’s high time, Star Wars fans. I want form-hugging spandex fandom, dammit. I want to be unafraid, avant-garde, noticeable and memorable. I want some sleek and elegant marketing statement. I want to fold my hoof up into something instantly recognizable as a YT-class freighter and say some simple greeting to my fellow Star Wars fan. What do I have? An awkward Ricky Bobby I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-my-hands moment and a half-mumbled “May the Force Be With You”, which is a weird way to say “Hello” if you think about it. Sure, “Live Long and Prosper” is just as goofy and melodramatic, but at least its campy geek chic. “May the Force Be With You” is eerily similar to how Catholics greet each other in Sunday Mass. No, I’m serious, I’ve almost said it like 2000 times. Once to a priest.
So this is your homework, dear reader. I want suggestions on my desk by the end of next week. I want snappy slogans, I want hipster catchphrases, and I want something so cool that Snoop Dogg (or whatever he calls himself now) wouldn’t hesitate to holla at Phil Jackson across LL Cool J’s poolside barbeque. I want to finally hear us call out to each other over the din of a crown with something other than “ERMAHGERD, STIRWIRZ!!” I want University of Texas fans to marvel at our fandom sign language. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it (what else do you have to do, you’re reading this) is threefold. You must deliver:
1)A name for fellow Star Wars fans.
2)A greeting for fellow Star Wars fans.
3)Take a picture of your hand posing the new Star Wars… gesture… thingy… handshake…
Put your best stuff in the thread associated with this article. Once we have our top suggestions, I’ll send it right off to Disney. (sigh.) Don’t get me started.
Now, go, I command you. Do my bidding, Port Havians… Port Havenites… err… Port Havenots…. Ok fine, we’ll work on that one next.
Lerve, Pineconez
DM
